We know you’re curious. We love it that you found yourself on this page, to satiate those unspoken questions hiding behind a shield of incredulousness. Yes, this is “the real thing.” We are not crazy nor pregnant nor in search of better financial aid or a green card.
For the best of it and the worst of it, a little explanation, in our own words... (please e mail us your questions and we’ll add them here, with due credit, of course)
Questions about the ceremony and reception:
1. Why are you getting married at 3:33 in the afternoon? (Asked by Dan, brother of the groom)
It’s good luck to get married when the second hand is on the upswing, and 4:00-3:33 equals 27 minutes, a special number for us. The number 3 is an oft special, even magickal symbol in fairy tales and folk lore. Above all these explanations, is the very simple: it just felt right. Intuition tells all.
2. Who will be conducting the ceremony? (another Dan question)
The master of ceremonies has yet to be appointed. We’re looking for someone who is spiritual, close to nature, has an excellent sense of humor, and understands the multiple meanings of Samhain/ Halloween. S/he needs to be sensitive to a mixed group of Catholic, Mormon, pagan, agnostic, and Jewish faiths. Any suggestions?
3. How will this compare to a traditional wedding ceremony/reception? (Dan’s question)
What is traditional, anyhoo? I imagine you may be thinking of a typical American semi-religious contemporary wedding. Best man, maid of honor, ushers & bridesmaids. The famous wedding “da da da dum” procession, ending with the bride walking down the aisle as everyone stands, and then she is given away by her father to the awaiting groom at the end of the aisle, etc. etc.
We want to be creative and unique and symbolic. Some of the traditional symbols are meaningful, but others may have worn away into two-dimensional tradition without substance. We will be adjusting where necessary. For example, I think it’s nonsensical to have the father “give away” the daughter to the husband-to-be. I love my dad deeply and wish him to be by my side, but only if he is joined by the rest of my immediate family. They have all raised me and shaped me since birth, and we have influenced each other equally. Likewise, Ryan’s family is his nexus, and they deserve to be represented in the ceremony. And literally speaking, why should we be given to each other? Bygone are the dowry days. We have chosen one another, and rather than splintering off from our families into a separate entity, we wish for our families to come together as we have. The more the merrier, eh?
4. Will there be a costume contest? (Another q from dear old Dan)
Great idea! Sure, let’s have one during the reception. How should we vote, and what will the prize(s) be?
5. Can the costume prize be a mate? (asked by Dan, Ryan’s brother)
I don’t think any answer can reveal as much as Dan’s question does, so maybe we should just leave it at that. But for those interested, Dan is a 24 years old Pisces currently working behind the scenes at MSNBC cable station in New Jersey. He appreciates religion, theater, politics, and Sweet N’ Low, and is currently investigating law school for next year (give ‘em heck on that LSAT, Dan!). And yes, he will be at the wedding.
6. Can Father Jette conduct the ceremony if we can get him to come? He is spiritual, close to nature, sensitive to many faiths and has a sense of humor. (Bob and Dan)
Yes. If you can get him to come, Father Jette can conduct the ceremony.
7. Will there be music at the wedding ceremony? (Ryan's Mom)
Yes, there will be music. And birds. According to our ceremony permit, amplified electric music is prohibited on the beach. It disturbs the birds of the nearby lagoon, while they’re hanging out in their natural environs/habitat. But singing and acoustic instruments are allowed—provided they’re not too loud or obnoxious.
Questions about the Hostel:
1. What is a hostel?
Admit it. You’ve known that we’ve been working at this hostel for a while now (Kaci’s been here 6 months, Ry a little over a year). You’ve heard that we work in the office and clean one day a week, all in exchange for free housing and a small paycheck. Great deal (considering we’re a 15 minute walk from the beach and have raccoons for neighbors!). But admit it. You don’t really know what a hostel is. No problem. Many guests are “first-timers”, and it’s amazing how many seem a bit embarrassed by the fact.
For a quick answer, go to the Marin Headlands Hostel website (created by our own Ryan): http://headlandshostel.homestead.com. A concise answer is that a hostel is a mix of a hotel and a home. Guests share rooms in dorms that have bunk beds and sleep an average of 8 per room. There is a large kitchen, dining room, living room, laundry room, game room (ping pong, fus ball, and a pool table--all free to play!), men’s and women’s bathrooms, a library, board games, outdoor sports equipment, a basketball court, pay phones, internet machine, and acres and acres of nature on the front steps. (Look under Questions about the Marin Headlands for more information on the Headlands).
Our guests range in age from 1-81 and come from all over. This hostel is one of the best kept hostels in the country; it once housed the U.S. Army and our two houses are now historical buildings. In exchange for the cheap rates, guests do a light chore every day of their stay, such as putting away dishes or taking out the trash, and they change their sheets and pillowcases before leaving. There is no television. Do you hear, dads? No tv!!!!
2.Who is the 1-year-old guest? the 81-year-old? (ok we know the answers but someone may want to know) (asked by Bob)
Actually, I’m not sure you do know the answer. The 1 to 81 was Kaci’s reference to the fact that there is no age limit. I know she may have confused you--what if I’m 82? 102? 2 months?--the truth is you are all welcome! So no, these are not specific guests, but very loosely defined characteristic examples of what the ages of somewhat typical “youngest” and “oldest” guests might be like. But don’t hold us to that.
3. What will Doc and Marian's chores be (in exchange for the low low price of staying at the hostel)? (Bob and Dan, Ryan’s brothers)
Marian will clean the insides of the microwave and toasters. Doc will have to shoo(sp?) the raccoons off the dumpster. (Doc and Marian are Ryan’s grandparents.)
Questions about the Marin Headlands and Bay Area:
None yet!
Questions about us:
1. What will your new names be?
Ryan Alan Elder Forsythe & Kaci Faylee Forsythe Elder. We are taking the other’s last name and adding it to our middle names.
2.What did Kaci do on the organic farm? where is it? (are just the friends in Denmark, or the farm too?) (Bob and Dan)
The farm and friends both reside in Denmark, although some friends aren’t from there (Anna from Greece, Monique from the Netherlands, other folks from Copenhagen/Kobenhavn). The farm is called Svanholm, which means “swan jetty” (or Father Swan Jette in the spirit of Ry’s dry wit.)
So what did I do? I worked in the kitchen group, cooking lunch and dinner for everyone in the community and day-workers. That meant about 100 hungry adults and 40 boisterous children. It was a 9-5 weekday job, and during the weekends we hung out, drove to Copenhagen 60 kilometers away, or rode bikes 5 km. to Skibby.
3. Does Kaci know Ryan's Confirmation name? (Ryan's Mom)
I just asked. It’s Paul, and now I also know why.
4. The picture of you two on the first page is divine! Tell me all the circumstances surrounding that picture. When I am missing you, I look at that picture-the way you two are looking at each other and I am so happy for you both! May you always look at each other with that love. (Ry’s Mom)
We think you are referring to the first picture on the “More Pictures” page. In making plans to meet up with Kaci’s mom somewhere between our house and hers, we settled on the Palo Alto Bloomingdale’s. And since we were going to Bloomingdale’s, we thought “Hey…let’s play dress-up.” Just before heading out, our friend Sabine Henrichsen-Schrembs snapped that picture. And since then, we've always looked at each other with that love.
Questions about the honeymoon and future plans:
1. Where are you going for your honeymoon, and for how long?
We’re taking off on November 1st for Denmark. We have both been there before, and Kaci has some friends from the organic farm she lived on for three months. Then our trip becomes like life, fluid and unpredictable. We have until December 20th to get to Thailand. Inside we burn to go to the UK and Africa, que sera?
2. I heard this crazy rumor that you two are splitting up in Thailand. What??!!
Before getting engaged, Ry already had plans to earn his TOEFL, or Teacher of English as a Foreign Language, certificate during a month-long program in Thailand. Kaci had travel plans underway to go to Mexico, Central & South America with her friend, Jennifer, in January 2001. Ryan’s program will begin in early January, and Kaci will return to California to prepare for her trip.
We feel like our relationship is so viable, in part, because we are both infused with an independent wandering spirit, and we would never ask the other to change their plans. We will come together again in the early Spring, and we have faith that our relationship will be all the more stronger when we reunite. Our independence has become interdependence.
3. When are you having kids?
Give us at least four years! We love kids, we want them, but we’re not ready, so we don’t need them (yet).
4. Will you be voting absentee ballot-wise since you will be out of the country on election day? and if you were going to vote for Gore, disregard this question, don't bother. (Dan)
If I understand the question properly, we should answer the question only if we are not voting for Gore. So yes, we will be voting absentee ballot-wise while we are on our honeymoon (actually, probably before we leave).
5. What last name will you give to your children? (Ryan's Mom)
Maybe they can make up their own when they’re old enough. Until then, it will be Henrichsen-Schrembs. (We don’t know yet!)
6. Do you have any long term plans? (Ry's Mom, again)
No. We don’t have short term plans, either. Oh, wait—that’s short term memory we don’t have. What was the question?
Random Questions:
1. Is it easy to set up a site on homestead.com? (asked by Dan, brother of the groom)
Ah, so you’ve seen that Homestead.com is the home on the web for both our wedding site and the Marin Headlands hostel site I created. Yes, Homestead is one of the easier places to set up your own website. All you have to do is go to http://www.homestead.com and follow their directions and your own senses of logic and intuition. You do not need to know HTML, JAVA, or any other computer language for creating websites. Rather, you simply select what you want from a sidebar (such as ‘text’) and drag it with your mouse/cursor onto your virtual canvas to where you want that item to appear. Then drop it into place. Presto! You’ve made a website. And unlike other free websites, you don’t have to carry banner advertisements for all sorts of weird products (but your page will carry a ‘built by Homestead’ type of ad at the bottom). The main drawback I see is the inability to create pages by simply writing in HTML, so advanced web designers may be frustrated.
2. Was it necessary to post Dan's question regarding whether it's easy to build a homestead website on a site about you guys? (Bob)
See the answer to the next question.
3. Is it going to be necessary for you to post question 2? (we'll stop right there, this line could go on for a while) (Bob)
While it is not necessary to post question 2—or its answer—we find that it is only fair to all our guests to answer each question as honestly and accurately as possible. Chances are that if you, Bob, wonder whether it would be necessary to post question 2, that someone else also wonders whether it is necessary to post question 2. And so we faithfully post our answer to question 3 for everyone.
4. What fruits will be in season? (:)) (again, Ryan’s Mom again)
The fruits of our labors. And our love. And pumpkins.
© 2000 Ryan Forsythe